What do couples chat about?

C said,
Hi everyone, I wonder what u guys normally chat with bf if u guys meet everyday ? Sometimes I come to the point that nth to talk with him, and I afraid it is some problem between with both.. Mind Sharing if couple together too long will it be like that?

Anyone here pls suggest any intereting topic that u guys talk about and ur bf have fun it in! Because my bf is quiet type so most of the time i have to start a topic

I started to worry as my bf said there is some problem between us since I dont feel like talking to him anymore. Actually I am quite clueless what to chat because I am not those creative kind, and we will meet everyday for long hours.. We usually chat about movie, games but not everytime u guys will have chance to watch any interesting thing to share about right.

I read internet try to get topic to chat but it is too generalize.. Anyone have a very happy conversation pls share ya.. tq so much


B@rt said
There are 11 stages in a relationship and this will dictate the topics of conversation between the two parties. Here is the basic guideline.

Getting to know you stage - Guy meets girl. Guy and girl get to know each other. Topics include family, hobbies, food, past experiences (eg vacation).

Courting stage - Guy interested in girl or the other way around. Topics include what kind of food do u like, what kind of movies do u like, when are you free, what type of guy/girl do u like.

Early relationship stage - guy and girl in a stable relationship. Topics include gossip about other ppl, ex bf and ex gf, "I love u thiissssss much". "ceh... I love u thisssssssssssssssssssssssss much". kiss kiss hug hug.

Relationship after 1 year stage - what did u do today? what did u eat today? who did u see today? where did u go today?

Engaged stage - when to kahwin? where to kahwin? Where to live after kahwin? got enough money to kahwin? where to take wedding picture?

Kahwin stage - Buy which house? buy cavenzi or buy ikea? Chinese new year which side of the family must go? dear i'm pregnant adi. HARR stupid condom broke.

Kids stage - Must save for their future education. which school should i send them to? should my wife stay at home and be a housewife? Buy the toy or not to buy the toy? Cane or not to cane? Why YOUR son so naughty arr?

Teenager stage - who is YOUR daughter going out with? Why he don't tuck in his shirt, do we have enough to put them through college? Why we don't have sex that often anymore?

Kids finish education stage - see MY DAUGHTER is a graduate, see MY SON so handsome just like his father, see MY DAUGHTER got a good job, see MY GOOD GENES.

Retirement stage - where want to go for holiday? What you wanna do now that you have retired? Will the kids look after us when we cannot take care of ourselves? I hope I die first cos I cannot bear to see you leave me.

Dying stage - Thank you for loving me. I love u. See you soon dear. toooooooo......

My BF keeps pictures of pretty girls

S said...

that her bf keeps thousands of pictures of pretty girls (not naked) in his computer. She wonders if this is normal and that it makes her feel insecure and wonders if she is not able to satisfy him.

Bart says

A guy who keeps porn is someone who uses it for sexual gratification.

A guy who keeps non-naked girl pictures either has a very good imagination or he likes pretty girls and atm is not fully committed to you. What I mean is if a pretty girl like those in his collection comes along and shows interest in him it is likely he will entertain that interest.

Nothing that you can do about it really cos guys can get very protective and stubborn over their "collections". Thus my se kiu for you is to start your own collection of good looking male and let him accidentally find it. Say "oh I saw ur collection and that sparked my interest in collecting guy pics as well. Wah u see this leng chai fuiyooooo...". If he ask you not to keep anymore say "mm but u can keep I cannot keep? so unfair wan...".

This will force him to think about the other side of the coin.

B asks,

Can you recommend candlelight dinner in Penang? Wanna celebrate birthday wif my bf.

B@rt says,

I have a friend who did this. Try it out!

He went and bought a box of candles and set them up on the beach in the shape of a heart. After romantic dinner he drove her to the beach, closed her eyes and bawa her jalan at the beach and TADAA... open her eyes and in front of her was the candle lit heart in the sand. and then he popped out a birthday cake and they sat in the middle of the heart under the starry sky feeding each other the cake while listening to the sound of crashing waves.

Pls note in order for this to work u need an accomplice to light the candles at the beach and also to light the candles on the birthday cake. But the fella must be seng mok and be invisible lah.

How to get together with a guy?

LB says,

hi everyone!

i got feeling at a guy around 1 year ard,
although it is not a long time but the feeling is so....... dunno how ti discribe:cry:

i think he dunno
and i don' think i will going to let him know...izit i'm so stupid?
should i give up?(mayb most of u all say "dont!"
lets give some opinion o wht else u want to say....
thanks....

B@rt says,
Hey LB,

You didn't give much info on how old u are or what you do and so on so this is going to be a bit general.

Firstly you need to find out whether he knows you exist. If he doesn't know who you are that's fine. If you know each other then it would be easier.

In the event that he doesn't know you exist you have to look him up on facebook and find out what his hobbies /interest lies. If he doesn't have facebook or his facebook doesn't provide any of the information required you need to ask your friend to ask his friend what are his hobbies. Try to be as subtle as possible without letting out that there is a girl interested in him. Then you need to research on his hobby, eg computer gaming or dancing, and join him in his hobby. Make friends with him this way and hang out/makan/yum cha with him after playing computer games at the CC for example. Try to keep the conversations casual and about the hobby. Give him I REPEAT give him your MSN/number. If he calls/contacts you, half the battle is won. Also try to get as many one on one sessions with him as possible. You can do this by asking him to pick u up in his car to go for activities, having lunch/dinner with him etc. Say something along the lines of "wah after that session I'm very hungry lah. Can stop for some food?"

During outings with him dress sweetly, try butt hugging jeans, spaghetti straps, tie your hair if your hair is long (I like it that way i dunno why) etc. When u're one on one with him like when he drives you home flirt with him a bit like say "wah ur hair very smooth leh" and run your fingers through his hair or act like you're annoyed in a manja way when he teases you and slap his shoulders and say "So funny meh *smack*" or playfully put an arm around his shoulders when taking pictures that sort of stuff.

Most important is to make it seem natural and make him fall for you and make him court you instead of the other way around.

Good luck

Sorry I've missed a couple of days. Been really busy with work.

Ms T says:

I have made the biggest mistake.

When i was in a relationship with my ex...i was unsure of him, he was very much into commitment and to be honest, that scared me very much.

During our relationship, whenever we fought over the smallest matter, more often than not, I'd try to win in the situation by using 'let's break up'...

That is my greatest mistake ever, taking him for granted and now, after tolerating my shit for a year and a half, he has asked for a break up and left.

I didn't know what i had until i lost it, and now i just wanna get him back with me, to show him i really love him, and i'm willing to commit to being with him.

I begged for a chance for a whole week after we broke up, he said, "who knows, maybe after my exams.."

So i waited, i still texted him and wished him good luck in his exams, after he finished with exams, i waited a week, and asked him if i could have another chance, this is almost two months since we broke up.

He told me that he just wanted to be friends, and that he doesn't want to be dumped again, and that he's emotionally drained.

We were together for a year and a half, my first relationship, his 5th.

I must add that before we broke up, he had been close with a girl friend of his from college for 3 months, meaning calls for more than an hour during midnight.

After we broke up, needless to say, they got closer.
So as a friend, i asked him how were things between him and that girl, he said they were close, and that the girl might be a potential future girlfriend, but for now the limit was best friends.

And, during the time when we broke up, we met once and he kissed me, not a chum kiss, but only the kind shared between a couple.

I don't know exactly what to do, am i reading signs that we have a chance again? or is it over?

What can i do to get you back, if you were my boyfriend?

Please advise me.

B@rt says:

These are the obstacles that you are facing atm:

1) When you were in the relationship you did not appreaciate him and this made him feel like he was the one doing all the work to keep the relationship alive while he felt like you were trying to sabo the relationship by constantly asking for breakup.
2) He found someone whom he is interested in and that someone is treating him better than you did.
3) He doesn't know if things will go back the way it was which makes him hesitant to get back together.
4) he doesn't find you attractive anymore because all he remembers is your angry face when you argue with him all the time

ok lets get a few myths busted. Firstly, guys are not as stubborn/hard as they seem. He might say to you that he doesn't want to get back together but it is not definite especially in your case. It is usually definite if the gf cheats on him. So what I'm saying here is don't give up hope. Most guys are actually very soft on the inside (ie sam yuin). All you need to do is play at his heartstrings for him to take you back and this is how you should do it.

Get your act together. Go for a professional makeover. Get some new "in" clothes (eg skirts if you are the jeans type) (try Jap fashion - a lot of guys find it hot because of Jap anime) and start wearing them when he is around. I don't know whether you go to college together or work or go to the same club but when he is around be confident, be slightly flirtatious but not overdoing it, mix around with other guys and girls. This will remind him why he courted you in the first place and what he is missing out (solved point 4, ie making him attracted to you again).

Then you need to get a guy friend to say to him "Wah your ex damn hot lah. Wasted lah you". He will say "ya I know but she doesn't appreciate me when we were together" and he should say "Sure or not?". This will plant the seed of doubt in him whether you were really that bad after all. Presuming you and ur ex have the same group of friends ask whether he could pick you up to go yum cha with the friends or say you're stranded somewhere (at college?) and you need a ride home. During the ride be nice and friendly and before you step out of the car say "Hey I miss you" with a sad longing face. This will make him sam yuin and make him feel as if you are starting to appreciate him (solve point 1 and point 3 somewhat).

Later that evening get a girl friend or your sister to call him and find out for you discreetly whether he still has feelings for you. She should ask something along the lines of "wah she still keeps your photos and your gifts leh and she takes them out to look sometimes. I think she still hasn't gotten over you. In the future you think u guys got chance to get back together?" This will make him think that he still got chance with you and if he liked you enough to tolerate your insecurities over 1 1/2 years I think he will start thinking of getting back together with you.

At this stage you might be wondering, what about the girl he is interested in? My advice is ignore the girl for now because if you call the girl or get someone to threaten her he will eventually hear about it and blame you. You just need to remind yourself that they have only started talking and flirting but they are not serious yet. He has a right to choose now that he is a free agent if in the event that they have gotten serious and started dating you have 2 choices: 1) Spannar (see para beginning "Get your act together"); or 2) leave them alone and hope they break up and then u be there to console him and take him back.

ok back to the kiu. Now he is thinking about you, you need to get on the offensive. Go to his house at one night when u know he will be in and ask him whether can go driving for awhile because you have something to tell him (facial expression must be sad). As i mentioned in the myth busting para, guys are very sam yuin. You need to use this to your advantage. In the car while he is driving, u start crying. He will ask you "why you cry? who/what make you cry?". You should say "I'm really sorry for hurting you. I... I... miss you so much... I keep thinking of the happy times we had together like that time in . I know I was spoilt and always argue with you. I won't do it again I promise... I'm so sorry...sob sob." At this point hug him and he will automatically pull to the side of the road. A lot of guys are especially sam yuin when girls cry (i admit that I am one of those guys). Under the romantic street light with a girl he once loved crying in his arms I dare any guy to say that they will not be sam yuin. (btw point 3 solved)

Good luck

How to kau a famous blogger,

N says that he likes this famous celebrity blogger and would like a kiu to kau her.

B@rt says:
This is what you should do. Since she is into writing blogs first you need to piss her off with insults on her blog like what you did to me. Don't worry this step is only temporary to attract her attention and to get her talking to you even though it is hostile at first. After a few arguments start agreeing with her (even though u don't) and praise her writing and creativity. She will be like "hmm this guy is actually not a bad guy after all". Give it a month or 2 of commenting on her blog and progress to chatting online (via MSN) and then progress to calling her. This is where your conversational and flirting skills come into play. The weird thing about girls is that they don't need to actually see your face to start to fall for you. If you are good looking by all means send her a picture of yourself looking smart, in jeans and shirt and don't pan cool. If you're not good looking withhold any pictures until she says over the phone that she likes you. At that point go ahead and ask for a meet up. Pls do your best to look good as this will be the first time she sees u and she will decide the moment she sees you whether she can accept your face or not (she's already accepted your character after talking to you for a few months). After the first meet up if she doesn't avoid you then you're in. If she avoids you then you know you're not good looking enough for her.

Gals where to find? How to make friends with them?

V says:

i'm not looking for a gf just wanna make frens with gals but i don know how.......

1st) well if i don have much money can i go after gals??
2nd) how to get to know a gal?
3rd) wht should i do when i go out with a gal??? movie + dinner?
4th) i don speak much wht can i do? i even bad in telling jokes
5th) i'm not a good looking person wht should i do??
6th) i cant go out late have 2 back b4 12am
7th) i don know how 2 drink n smoke should i learn this things??
8th) i never been 2 clubbing cos.. i cant go out late.......

pls help me out.. i think i'm left over.......

B@rt says:

Ok Vincent first things first your situation is not a hopeless case as you seem to project in your post. Believe it or not there are many guys out there who do not have/do the things you listed above. But somehow or rather they still manage to get girls. OMG How is this possible you say. Well another truth that I am going to lay on you is this. There are many girls like what you described above! OMG ITS TRUE!

Now that we know this we need to realise that ppl look for partners who share similarities/compatible with themselves. Rich ppl go after rich ppl. Good looking ppl go after good looking ppl. Fat ppl go after fat ppl. So... what this translates is that you should also look for someone who share similarities with you. Now if you tell me "but... but... I want a hot chick with F cup and have a RM 1b trust in her name" then I will sau kung now. But if you say "No lah i'm not that superficial" then here is what you do.

OK. I believe any guy would have their own set of friends from secondary school (we call em hing tais) and what we normally do when we are with our hing tais is we yum cha at the mamak stall. Now what you need to do is to organise a yum cha session with your hing tai but also invite the girls from your secondary school on the pretense of a reunion. This will be the icebreaker cos you can't suddenly call up girls out of the blue (unless you look like Edisen Chen). OK so I should mention at this point why we are targetting his secondary school girls. The reason is because the girls from his secondary school already know the kind of person he is and it is easier for him to talk to a girl that already knows him as a friend/ex-classmate. Also another reason why we are doing this yum cha session besides the ice breaking bit is because Vincent will be in the company of friends which helps put him at ease somewhat.

OK so there you are at the yum cha session (pls dress smartly. I cannot repeat this enough. Its the clothes that make the guy. This is very true). Try sitting yourself at the edge of your group of friends (ie leaving one chair open on the left or right) thus increasing the possibility of a ex-female classmate sitting next to you. When the girl parks her butt just wave and say a friendly helo. If you can see yourself going out with her and that she is compatible with you then stay seated if she's too hot/too ugly/too tomboyish for you then go toilet or walk around and ask one of your friends to take ur spot and talk to her to make it seem like you didn't change your seating position on purpose. Ok assuming this girl is acceptable during the course of the yum cha session occasionally talk to her about common interest stuff like "hey did you hear about our ex-classmate? She's married adi leh" and she will say "omg really???" and say "yalah when is your turn?" and she will either say "nolah no BF yet" (YESSS!!!) or "ooh my bf not yet propose yet" (NOOO). Depending on the answer feel free to use the tactic to change seating position mentioned above. in the event of YESSS, talk to her some more but keep it light. At the end of the yum cha session DON'T ask for her number. Rather ask a more popular friend to suggest that everybody exchanges MSN or better yet exchange facebook or twitter or whatever u young ppl are using these days.

Fast forward a week later. Add her on facebook/MSN. A week's period is given because u don't want to appear desperate or someone who has no life who goes home straight to the computer to add her to look at her pictures on Facebook. Next time you and your hing tais yum cha ask your hing tais to also ask ex-female classmates who are closer to your group of friends (or if you already have females in your normal yumcha sessions even better) to join. Message the girl and say "hey we're meeting up again but this time smaller group lah you want to come and join?" immediately throw out a few names (pls mix guys and girls names). She will either say "No I'm busy lah next time" or say "Yes ok". If you're feeling daring and that you have a good feeling that she has a good feeling about you, you should offer to pick her up from her house to the mamak stall and then send her back later at 12 (say you don't like to stay out too late cos you don't want your overprotective parents to worry). Invite her to a couple more yum cha sessions and when you feel confident one night when you're sending her home mention this amazing movie that is coming out (eg Lord of the rings 4: the Return of B@rt) ask her if she would like to go watch a movie and have dinner together. If she says yes you're in. If she says no but gives a good excuse say "no problem next time then" and remember to ask again next time. If she says No and gives some lame excuse then time to look for new target.

Good luck