pls help me out., my engagement is in danger..

S says:

dear all..i want to share my stories that happent almost 1 week..

Im a 25 years old guy whos still studying..while my fiancee is 24 and shes working now.
the thing is we always fight about small things n sometimes shes bring some old issues up.
and we do the long distance relationship..

and honestly all the emails n facebook i make for her, for sure i know all the password...n she also know all my password.

last week i found this guy message her on facebook which asking her phone number n exchange phone number n mail..

n i found out that this guy is her cousin nephew.

tonight i accidently sign in her YM cos i see shes offline n i dont have any idea that shes appear offline that time..

so when im sign in they still chat which means my fiancee YM is signout while me is on.

so that guy dont have any idea whats going on just.. i got the words from him "hahahaha yea its should be like that" and "wah...why sign out???"

im shock..n go for sign out instanly..

later on 30 minutes latter im trying sing in again..things happent again..the guy words "hahahahah.yaya" and "huh?? sign out again??"

its already 12.30am..while everytime i ask her to chat with me she always said that she tired..shes sleepy..always got excueses..what about this man??

why he got the time for chat??? what about me??

and i also find out that this guy come to my engagement party with his cousin.

and my fiancee n this guy know each other in the january i think..cos i see his cousin photo wedding that they all (cousin nephew siblings) taking picture all together.

what should i do actually??

i know im thinking to much on negative side..n i do believe in her..

but what happend n so on just make me wonder what it is about actually..whats going on..

while im sms her, shes not reply..even reply will make any fight on..

and i also dont know what they are talking about at YM..

i cant tell her straight "hei what u doing chat this late with this guy??" huh i think its gonna be more worse..

can anyone tell me what should i do..i really hopeless now..as a man maybe i lost my dignity already..shame on me.

B@rt says:
this is a very interesting scenario. OK assuming the cousin's nephew lives in the same area as your fiance, I would say that there is a probability that the guy is after her and will ask to meet up for yum cha.

Your fiance is experiencing what i call long distance loneliness. When you're in town u meet up its all lovey dovey and nice but when u're apart for more than 2 months she forgets about how you make her feel and the love that you guys share and she feel lonely. This makes her susceptible to the other guy's advances. Seeing as she is already talking late into the night with this guy it means that she is somewhat interested and flattered by the attention that he is giving her not to mention that all u guys do these days is argue. if you allow this to prolong they will hook up eventually and one day she will change her passwords and pm u saying "sorry I found a new love. It couldn't be helped. I already fall for him adi".

I know all this because it happened to me. I was with my ex for 2 years and when I went to Australia to further my studies another guy chased her in my absence and i received a yahoo message from her 4 months after I left saying that she wants to split up because of our differences (which was bullshit because in actual fact she hooked up with the guy).

My suggestion to you if you want to save this relationship is to get his number and call him directly. Before he answers start recording the conversation on ur mobile phone. Tell him that you know what he has been doing and to back off.

If he says ok then say, Thank you for understanding.

If he says FXXX u then say "thank you for being unreasonable you will be hearing from me again shortly". Save the recording and drive (if possible) to your fiance's house in whichever state she is in and ask her what is she doing talking to the guy till late at night. If she says they are only friends, play the recording to her and say "He doesn't think so". If she insist on continuing this friendship then you have 2 choices: a) you come back more often (ie 2 weekends a month) and hang out with her more often, or b) you call it quits and tell her that security goes both ways and that you cannot do a long distance relationship when she cannot give u the security that she will wait for u.